Networkers Extraordinaires

As December rounded the corner, the season for office parties officially began. Some are purely staff parties while others are networking events where one is supposed to mix, mingle and strengthen relationships.

For me, the strengthening of relationships come quite easily. I can talk to people I have already talked to with no problems. My difficulty lies in walking up to perfect strangers and starting a conversation. At a gala benefit Monday night, I had the opportunity to observe what I call the networkers extraordinaires. They are generally very high up on the totem pole. (CTO’s, presidents, chairmans, etc) I suppose there is a reason they were chosen to be the faces of an organization.

So for the rest of us, I have carefully observed some skills that they all seem to have in common:

1) They really just walk up and introduce themselves to people like they own the event. I almost felt like the party was given in their living rooms, they seemed so comfortable. Most of the time, they will ask someone close by information on the people, then walk up and introduce themsleves. But if non-one has any information, they will just walk up, extend a hand and a smile and proceed fearlessly. I asked one of these people what they say. The answer? “Hello, my name is so and so from xxx. I don’t believe we’ve met” Yeah its not rocket science. I supposed its one of those things you just have to do.

2) Tactfully getting rid of people. Once they have evaluated whether this peron is worth their time or not, they can tactfully leave the conversation in a graceful manner without letting on that theya re actually dissing the person. I have observed this when person A is a ‘celeb’ and person B is a ‘hanger on’ They will listen, answer questions, appear interested and yet manage to gracefully exit the conversation before the other person realizes what is actually happening. I believe that this is one area alot of people overlook. They come off as being snobby and dismissive. Its a small world out there, the best networkers never burn bridges.

3) They listen. Its an actual conversation with them. They are not merely looking for an audience for their monologues, but they actually make new aquaintances and friendships.

4) They follow up. They follow up on the people…or atleast they are responsive to on-going communication. Alot of these networking extroadinaires have an amazing memory for faces and names. They connect people to other people and it becomes a mutually beneficial relationship.

So those are my four points that I gathered from watching these folks. I am still trying to overcome my shyness…but it really helps to watch the experts in action.

One pose at a time – the half moon pose

After spending atleast 4 months doing bikram for 2-3 times a week, I have to admit that I am far from ‘getting it down’ But I guess that that’s the whole point, you never perfect it…it just a continuous never ending improvement process. The one pose I really dread…is the half moon pose. Its the second in the series and it absolutely fills me with fear, pain and and a general lack of anticipation.

My arm ache, I don’t know what I am doing…and it seems to be never ending. I can’t get my arms to stay behind my ears and stay there…and I feel pressure in my back (which I know I should probably not be feeling) So I decided to study it , motivate myself and maybe help some other people out at the same time.

(image courtesy of Bikram Missoula)

Half Moon with Hands to Feet
ARDA CHANDRASANA with PADA-HASTASANA

Benefits:

• Trims fat all over the body” thighs, hips, waist, arms and abdomen.
• Improves and strengthens every muscle in the central part of the body, especially the back and abdomen.
• Increases flexibility of the spine
• Corrects bad posture
• Promotes proper kidney function
• Helps cure enlargement of the liver and the spleen
• Helps cure dyspepsia, and constipation
• Helps to eleviate lower back pain, bronchial distress, scoliotic deformities, tennis elbow, frozen shoulder

From what I gather:

• Your wieght is towards the back of your feet.
• There should be no space between your palms and wrists (I hear this every class, but I have a lot of trouble)
• You stretch one side of your body while contracting and strengthening the other, reaching side to side and then to the back.

What you should be feeling as you are doing it:

• This is a STRETCHING POSE. I’ve heard that you should feel the last four vertebrea in your spine lengthen and open. (I don’t think I’ve ever felt my spine lengthen…but sometimes I do feel a stretching in my waist)

I would love more advice on this pose. So if any of you yogis out there want to chime in….please add your comments.

Look ma, I’m in a game!

I’m on a ‘games about social issues’ list. Somewhere deep in my brain I do believe in games as a medium for communication (and thus education) Today something came by my mailbox that filled my morning with part giggles and part indignation.

Artwork by Silhouette Studios

Silhouette Studios has been contracted by BreakThrough TV to develop an immigration game. Hell, I’ve been living the immigration game for 10 years! If only I had a game to teach me about it…..NOT! But seriously it could be one way to explain to Americans how hard it really is to stay in the country legally (especially if you are from a ‘developing’ country)

So I clicked to it out of curiousity…I was faced with some artwork. Hmm let’s see…hey look! the visa holder look JUST like me (if I were to be a man) And the greencard holder looks suspiciously European and well dressed. I love the fact that the undocumented male has a skateboard. I am sure that will come in handy when escaping from the INS and that guy doesn’t even look like the type that would know what to do with a skatebaord. Don’t even get me startedon the asylum seeker.

If this is truely an educational game about immigration, I hope it goes further to break the stereotypes of immigrants. The artwork seems typical to me and really all these different types of people can be in any one of these immigration situations. I hope that this game gets THAT point across.

Well its a BreakThrough product and they are good folks with good intentions. They’ve done some work with the non-profit I consult for so I have my fingers crossed that the game will come out as a worthwhile effort.

Taking a break from my Darkover novels

After a month of reading nothing but the fantasy Darkover novels, I decided to put them down and take a break. I am sure I will eventually track down the ones that I am still missing (WorldWreckers, Darkover Landfall, The Heirs of Hammerfeld ….) but I realized that the names were starting to blend into each other and I was just flipping the pages and skimming them just so I can get to the end.

So I picked up “A Million Little Pieces” by James Frey which has been sitting on the bookshelf for quite some while. Its been 4 or 5 days and I just can’t put the book down. It often has me on the verge of tears (which looks rather strange when you are sitting on a subway) and once again I find myself skimming pages so I can get to the end and find out what happens next.

I am aware of the controversy around the book. He lied , its all lies (well not all of it but perhaps alot of it) But despite all that, I find it to be a great book. I have wondered about what goes on in an addict’s mind. Why do they do the things they do regardless of all that they have to lose. Logically I understand that they can’t help themselves and its a ‘disease’ that drives them…but truthfully? I don’t understand it at all. I can’t even come close to understanding how someone can lose everything…lose absolutely everything and everyone to chase ‘that ultimate high.’ This book comes as close as i have been to understanding how and why. And I think that is an accomplishment that is no small thng. To communicate so clearly what it must feel like to be a recovering addict is an admirable feat in itself.

So even if James frey is not a Criminal, so even if he is not as big an Addict as he makes himself out to be, I’m glad he wrote that book. I wonder how addicts or recovering addicts respond to his book? (Not the ‘REAL’ authors who call the book  drivel and sh#t) I wonder if they feel that they have found a friend or perhaps they feel like he said he did when a big rockstar got on stage at Hazeldon and lied about how much drugs he did?

I suppose I shall have to hunt down his other two books and figure out if he just got lucky, is a one book wonder and if there really is anything to James Frey. Perhaps I am just a sentimental woman and should go back to reading feminist fantasy/sci-fi novels.